Large Language Lovers: Lived Experiences of Negotiating Agency and Platform Control in AI Companionship

Fuente: arXiv
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Auteurs principaux: Lee, Patrick Yung Kang, Bo, Jessica Y., Zhao, Zixin, Aoyagui, Paula Akemi, Varona, Matthew, Anderson, Ashton, Kuzminykh, Anastasia, Chevalier, Fanny, Nobre, Carolina
Format: Preprint
Publié: 2026
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author Lee, Patrick Yung Kang
Bo, Jessica Y.
Zhao, Zixin
Aoyagui, Paula Akemi
Varona, Matthew
Anderson, Ashton
Kuzminykh, Anastasia
Chevalier, Fanny
Nobre, Carolina
author_facet Lee, Patrick Yung Kang
Bo, Jessica Y.
Zhao, Zixin
Aoyagui, Paula Akemi
Varona, Matthew
Anderson, Ashton
Kuzminykh, Anastasia
Chevalier, Fanny
Nobre, Carolina
contents Individuals are turning to increasingly anthropomorphic, general-purpose chatbots for AI companionship, rather than roleplay-specific platforms. However, not much is known about how individuals perceive and conduct their relationships with general-purpose chatbots. We triangulated community discussions on Reddit (41k+ posts and comments), survey responses (n=43), and semi-structured interviews (n=13) which revealed internal dynamics, external influences, and steering strategies that shape AI companion relationships. We learned that individuals conceptualize their companions based on an interplay of their beliefs about the companion's own agency and the autonomy permitted by the platform, how they pursue interactions with the companion, and the perceived initiatives that the companion takes. In combination with the external factors that affect relationship dynamics, particularly model updates that can derail companion behaviour and stability, individuals make use of different types of steering strategies to preserve their relationship, for example, by setting behavioural instructions or porting to other AI platforms. We discuss implications for accountability and transparency in AI systems, where emotional connection competes with broader product objectives and safety constraints.
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id arxiv_https___arxiv_org_abs_2601_13188
institution arXiv
publishDate 2026
record_format arxiv
spellingShingle Large Language Lovers: Lived Experiences of Negotiating Agency and Platform Control in AI Companionship
Lee, Patrick Yung Kang
Bo, Jessica Y.
Zhao, Zixin
Aoyagui, Paula Akemi
Varona, Matthew
Anderson, Ashton
Kuzminykh, Anastasia
Chevalier, Fanny
Nobre, Carolina
Human-Computer Interaction
Computers and Society
Individuals are turning to increasingly anthropomorphic, general-purpose chatbots for AI companionship, rather than roleplay-specific platforms. However, not much is known about how individuals perceive and conduct their relationships with general-purpose chatbots. We triangulated community discussions on Reddit (41k+ posts and comments), survey responses (n=43), and semi-structured interviews (n=13) which revealed internal dynamics, external influences, and steering strategies that shape AI companion relationships. We learned that individuals conceptualize their companions based on an interplay of their beliefs about the companion's own agency and the autonomy permitted by the platform, how they pursue interactions with the companion, and the perceived initiatives that the companion takes. In combination with the external factors that affect relationship dynamics, particularly model updates that can derail companion behaviour and stability, individuals make use of different types of steering strategies to preserve their relationship, for example, by setting behavioural instructions or porting to other AI platforms. We discuss implications for accountability and transparency in AI systems, where emotional connection competes with broader product objectives and safety constraints.
title Large Language Lovers: Lived Experiences of Negotiating Agency and Platform Control in AI Companionship
topic Human-Computer Interaction
Computers and Society
url https://arxiv.org/abs/2601.13188