The Words That Can't Be Shared: Exploring the Design of Unsent Messages

Fuente: arXiv
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Main Authors: Yin, Michael, Xiao, Robert
Format: Preprint
Published: 2026
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author Yin, Michael
Xiao, Robert
author_facet Yin, Michael
Xiao, Robert
contents People often have things they want to say but hold back in conversations, fearing vulnerability or social consequences. Online, this restraint can take a distinctive form: even when such thoughts are written out - in moments of anger, guilt, or longing - people may choose to withhold them, leaving them unsent. This process is underexamined; we investigate the experience of writing such messages within people's digital communications. We find that unsent messages become expressive containers for suppressed feelings, where the act of writing creates a pause for reflection on the relationship and oneself. Building on these insights, we probe into how the design of the writing platforms of unsent messages affects people's experiences and motivations. Speculating with participants on nine evocative variants of a note-taking platform, we highlight how design shapes the emotional, temporal, and ritualistic qualities of unsent messages, revealing subtle tensions between people's social desires and communicative actions.
format Preprint
id arxiv_https___arxiv_org_abs_2601_13343
institution arXiv
publishDate 2026
record_format arxiv
spellingShingle The Words That Can't Be Shared: Exploring the Design of Unsent Messages
Yin, Michael
Xiao, Robert
Human-Computer Interaction
People often have things they want to say but hold back in conversations, fearing vulnerability or social consequences. Online, this restraint can take a distinctive form: even when such thoughts are written out - in moments of anger, guilt, or longing - people may choose to withhold them, leaving them unsent. This process is underexamined; we investigate the experience of writing such messages within people's digital communications. We find that unsent messages become expressive containers for suppressed feelings, where the act of writing creates a pause for reflection on the relationship and oneself. Building on these insights, we probe into how the design of the writing platforms of unsent messages affects people's experiences and motivations. Speculating with participants on nine evocative variants of a note-taking platform, we highlight how design shapes the emotional, temporal, and ritualistic qualities of unsent messages, revealing subtle tensions between people's social desires and communicative actions.
title The Words That Can't Be Shared: Exploring the Design of Unsent Messages
topic Human-Computer Interaction
url https://arxiv.org/abs/2601.13343